Documenting life is one of those things you wish you did, that make you feel great after doing it and what the future you will probably thank you for. In fact it gifts the future you a sense of perspective, something to look at, to benchmark your progress as a human being.
I actually managed to sustain a diary for the past two years or so. And yes, it never fails to make me cringe when I read posts where I gush about a now-lost friend or whenever I gush in general. Yet it is always an interesting experience – I was like this once? You re-live the past you, and you remember how to be certain parts of you again. In my case that often means being more naive, more hopeful and more positive.
The big experiences in life, they stay fresh in your memory and probably need no detailed scribing. The small ones, the snippets, they are often lost when they are sometimes the most precious. You never know when your most cinematic moments will occur, but you must never forget them when they do. Clutch onto those moments because those will replay whenever you need them to.
I am planning a gap year, and to be honest that sounds like a scary adventure. Scary yes. Adventure yes. It takes a certain amount of bravery, and I can think of this space as a place for reassurance. To reassure my parents that the time is not spent in vain, and myself that my growth as an individual will not go unnoticed, at least not by myself.
I have some rather ambitious plans, at least for the mostly unambitious myself. Learning a new language, starting a (teeny weeny) social enterprise, volunteering, travel – mostly cliche stuff. I am not a snowflake by any means. Nonetheless, I’m hyped. A gap year is a time for discovering myself and the world around me. Stepping out of my comfort zone, asking my low self esteem to shut up and documenting my experiences – sounds like fun.
I have always had an obssession with making my life seem grander than it actually is. I have termed some of my re-organization plans “revolutions” complete with powerpoint presentations (which I of course, presented to myself, with my soft toys in attendance as witnesses) and have planned several “symposiums” to discuss my personal life options. From health to education, I like to come up with plans. Hopefully this time the revolution actually succeeds and I can make long term changes to the way I lead my life. Expect plans related to diet, fitness, meditating and learning new skills. Again, documenting it gives me a heightened responsibility to see them through.
Emerging from a school a.k.a a life greenhouse, I crave a kind of schedule and plan. Away from the controlled environment is one that is more organic, filled with more possibilities. Yet it also comes with that possibility (with a large probability) where I spend my days doing exactly what I have done in all of my school holidays – wasting my youth away.(Except for that one school holiday where I vividly remember reading the Wiki articles of the Emperor of China, clicking “Successor” from the very first until the very last. A more typical one would involve me logging onto neopets everyday for the 12 Days of Christmas Advent Calender.)
In fact, I am supposed to be doing this writing assignment but I was so bored I decided to get this blog started. Back to adult-life, where money is EVERYTHING (Okay, not everything. But still. EVERYTHING.)
(BTW this is my first time using wordpress and the user interface is so classy? Bye Blogger)